Acknowledging the work…

I ended last month’s post with Mama Audra saying “always give good backstage. Always acknowledge the work.” This got me thinking about acknowledgment.

According to Cambridge Dictionary, to acknowledge is “to accept, admit, or recognize something, or the truth or existence of something.” For performances, this means validating and sharing a truth about a production. That truth could be the show’s impact (how it made us feel), the level of skill or artistry we saw, or just celebrating the effort and work involved in putting this production together. 

Acknowledgement is a large part of our work as artists. It feels good to be recognized; it’s why we do this thing in front of audiences. Why we share our work and don’t just leave it in a drawer. And acknowledgement can look like many different things in performance. It can look like applause, standing ovations, compliments, feedback, rapt attention, online discourse, awards, fame, paychecks, ratings… We got options. 

Now look, there are a lot of value judgements associated with acknowledgment. Some might say “playing the role is enough,” or “awards don’t mean anything,” or even “you changed my life in this production…” etc. Each of us artists has our own personal preferences on how we would like to be recognized for the work that we do and how we might not need to be. Which will vary person to person, just as much as it will vary production to production.

Setting aside our personal preferences, to not receive any acknowledgement at all feels awful. When a colleague sees our performance, and says nothing to us afterwards? This hurts. It can make us question our work, our artistry, and even our relationship (are they really a friend?). This hurt is why Mama Audra tells us to give good backstage. 

But what about auditions? If acknowledgement is a big part of the work we do, then what does this look like at auditions?

The biggest acknowledgment of an audition is booking the role. Our work is not only great, but exactly what this production needs. And that feels so good! Yet if booking the role is the only acknowledgment we value, then validation of our work only happens when we’re employed. And when roughly 90% of union actors are auditioning at any given time, employment isn’t always an option.

Even if fairness was more of a reality in the industry (job opportunities, equal representation, equitable pay, etc), we performers go on a lot of auditions. And not booking hurts, especially the further we get into an audition process. Yet there are still opportunities for our work and artistry to be acknowledged, even if we don’t get to do the full production. 

Acknowledgement at auditions can look like a “thank you for coming in,” notes on the material, the occasional insights into the casting process (“we went in a different direction”), a work session, callbacks, a compliment, getting called in for multiple projects by the same creative team… And more! 

Depending on the audition, how much work we put in, as well as our personal preferences, some of these acknowledgements may help soften the hurt of not getting the job. But only if we value them. A “thank you” at an open call may be enough. After a work session, notes or words of encouragement may be all we need to move on to the next. And for other auditions, it might not. It might still just hurt. And that’s okay. 

There isn’t a “right” answer here. Yet there are some things we can do. 

First off, we can learn when it’s not about us or our work. The purpose of auditions is to cast a production. Yes, we get to showcase our talent, make connections, meet creatives, but at the end of the day, auditions are not for performers. They’re for the creative team.

I know! This feels counterintuitive because the entire room is looking at us performing. And if we’ve been unemployed for a minute, this audition may be the only time that we have to flex our artistry. We performers do stand to benefit, but that’s not the primary function. Looking at auditions from a creative’s p.o.v. can help us take the whole audition process less personally. We can even read up on the numbers from creatives to help us see the bigger picture.

Second, we can learn to value acknowledgments outside of booking the role (while still practicing discernment). Getting feedback from a director we adore is great! And while it’s not the same as working with them on the show, it’s not nothing either. We can look for those glimmers, while making space for the hurt. 

At the same time, let’s not Pollyanna this. Going through 6 rounds of callbacks, prepping three different sides packets, and then not hearing anything at all… while it might not necessarily be personal, it is hurtful. That was a significant amount of time, energy, and (free) labor that we put into auditioning for that creative team. And how (or whether) they acknowledge our work, it tells us a lot about who was behind that table.

Jen Waldman recently reminded me that performers do have power. We can choose who we work with, just as much as a creative team can choose us for a production. And how we are treated throughout the audition process (including contract negotiation), is a preview for how this production will treat its employees. We should not have to endure abuse or inhumane conditions in order to work.

And lastly, we can learn what we can (and can’t!) do for ourselves. There may be some auditions when we can self-validate! When we won’t need anyone but ourselves to acknowledge our own work and effort. And there may be other auditions where we need that external recognition. Instead of solely relying on the audition room to acknowledge us, we can also seek out our coaches, mentors, or our loved ones’ take. This will vary person to person, or even audition to audition, little or big acknowledgment based on what we need in the moment.

Some ways we can do this for ourselves is by practicing closure, journaling, a self-hug, naming one thing we liked about our work... And some ways others can acknowledge our work is by having a debrief with our team, sending a quick text to loved ones, celebrating how far we’ve come with our mentors, revisiting the audition material just for fun with (or without) our coach.

Ideally, we have all of these in our back pocket. And while it would be great to only have to self-validate, sometimes having that outside eye can give us a better perspective on how an audition went. It’s also just nice to share our triumphs (and trials) with those that care about us.

Auditioning is and always will be stressful. We can’t control the acknowledgment we are given at auditions (if any!). Yet if we only acknowledge our efforts when we book, we’re missing out. We’re missing out on our artistic growth, on boosting our confidence, on connections with creatives, and more. We got to listen to Mama Audra again, we got to acknowledge the work, wherever we do it.